Friends?

I have been trying to stay on top of my blog challenges when I came to across yesterdays challenge.  Day 9-A picture of your friends. I thought I would just skip it and act like it wasnt a big deal, but I cant.

I dont have friends! There I said it. Well I have like one. 

In school, I would have a few friends but I always had one person that I was super super close to. In the 7th grade, I met a group of girls when I moved up to the mountains. Ashley, Ashley, Sara and I. We did everything together, but Sara and I were best friends. We LITERALLY lived at each others homes for extensive amount of time. By the beginning of 9th grade, both Ashleys had moved away and it was Sara and I, until I moved down to town.

We stayed in touch, we had our parents take us to the mountains or to town to see each other and even after Sara moved to Alaska, we were still good friends.  9 years later, we are still really good friends.  She lives in Northern Colorado and has a child and many friends up keeping her company.

In high school I had access which is also known as home room with a girl named Brittany. We never really talked much until Junior/Senior year. We became close and then by graduation  and off doing our own thing, we lost touch.  We probably didnt talk or see each other much until we found out that we were both living in the same Apartment Complex. From then, we were super close.  In public people would assume we were sisters and we acted like we were.

Both of these girls were in my wedding and stood right by my side through all the flowers and stressed months of my planning.  But now, now that it is after the wedding, I have lost a part of these friendships.

Brit and I dont talk ever. Like not even a little bit. She has made new friends and I have found myself without a friend. We went from being inseparable to not speaking.  At first, I didnt care, I didnt. I was angry because I was losing a friend and mad at the actions in which we both were making, but now.... Now I am sad, I feel like we had a horrible breakup. The kind of break up where the other person has moved on happily and you are the one eating gallons of ice cream and cake and sad that nobody likes you enough to call and hang out with you. Its sad. I feel stupid for feeling the way that I do. But I seriously hurt inside, I ache. I feel like I lost the 3rd of my body. 

I miss her!


My friend Sara and I are still good friends, but its different. She is a mother and has a life outside of listening to me cry about how I dont have friends or people to hang out with.  She is a great person and listener but Im sure that I tire her with all my bs and pitty stories.

Of course I have my husband, but ladies lets me honest, he doesnt want to listen to me whine about it either. 

Thats my rant. Thats my vent about how I feel like now and that is why I missed my challenge yesterday.