Fear

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

Last night I was thinking about this post. I was really thinking about all the things in life that I am afraid of.  I came to the conclusion that I only have a few...

1) The biggest fear that I encounter on a day to day basis, is semis and large trucks. No Joke! I seriously get panic attacks driving past semis.  Its bad! I sweat, I get anxious, my entire body tenses up, and its worse if other people are driving and I am in the passenger seat. I dont know how many times, Joey has gotten irritated with me for yelling or grabbing his arm or hand when we have been next to a semi. We either have to drive extremely fast past the semi.  This fear has been with me for a long time, probably since I was 14 years old. 

2) I hate water! I SAID IT!!! I know you are all wondering why.... And the only explanation I have for this hatred, is my sister tried drowning me multiple times in a pool, when I was young.  It all started out as that stupid game of dunking each others heads to then holding their heads under water. It has tormented me. I hate swimming, I dont enjoy water skiing or boarding, I dont want to go scuba diving or anything of that sort.  I would rather stay on land, water knee high and tan than be in water.

BUT...... I did go boogie boarding on our honeymoon in Mexico. I was able to use the board to keep my head up out of water to enjoy the warmth of the ocean.  Its a step, I guess.

3) I have the fear of losing my family. Losing my father and siblings, my husband, my extended family, my dogs. I am not talking about literally losing them in a store or anything like that, but I fear not being able to see them. I would die.  I cant imagine my life without any of my family and my pups... I hate even thinking about it.

I have the fear that my husband will leave me. That somebody out there will make him happier than I ever could. I heard a story on the radio a few weeks ago about a couple that had just gotten married and one day the husband just didnt come home. No phone calls, no money withdrew from the accounts, nothing, just vanished.  I fear that he will just leave.

Its crazy and I know it has to do with my own insecurities about myself, but I do fear it.

4) CRAZY!! I dont really care for Octopus.... I has to do with the whole deep water thing and the fact that an octopus can stretch up to 30ft or arm span and 600lbs. That just freaks me out. Hair standing up on my arm as we speak...... UGH...