Belief

Day 12-What you believe

I have a hard time with this one.  Before we started martial counseling, I didnt know what I believed in. I didnt know who God really was. What he does or how his powers worked. I had a perspective of God and I didnt have somebody to tell me and share with me how it was different.

So when we started our martial counseling, I asked questions and felt dump when I asked, but I was able to find the truth to what the big man was all about.  I had never felt so knowledgeable and educated about God than I did when we in counseling. But now that we are already married and we no longer meet with the pastor 3 times a week, I feel that I have fallen from God's hands. Away from beliefs, away from love, away from hope and encouragement.

I really need to do some deep soul searching and reach within side of my heart and show the world my love for God, even if I dont really understand it all.  Its hard for me, because Joey knows his relationship with the Lord, he knows how he feels and what he thinks, but I dont. I am in the closest when it comes to the Lord.  Its hard for me. Hard to especially reach out and ask for guidance.

I want a relationship, I want that love, I want that understanding and one day I will have that. Have that with myself, God and Joey.