Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The rest of your life......

Gosh, I really need to blog more often! I have been behind on my daily vents through blogger.  Let's catch up, shall we?

Before Joey and I got married, we would listen to people explain how the first year of your marriage is the hardest. We would look at each other and brush it off, knowing that for some reason, it would be different with us. We have lived with each other for close to 3 years now and we figured those who have a tough start to their marriage, was because of the pure fact that some couples dont live together before marriage.  In our minds, we thought we were different, we had been through the living together stage and we would be fine.

It has been a month since we said I do! This last month, we have learned that we are not singled out of the tough stage just because we have lived together.  It has been a great start to a new beginning, but I would be lying if I said that it has been the same as before or that it has been easy.  It has been a challenging to say the least and we have learned so much already.

Before we were married, Joey and I would do something stupid and the other would shrug it off. We both had our moments, where the other would questioned the others thoughts and actions. But at that time in our lives, before we were husband and wife, we could say that we didn't want to deal with them, or put up with their crap, or simply brush it off and act like it didn't bug us.  Now that we are married, it is totally a mind game that we play with ourselves trying to understand why it is now not ok to deal with the same things...

A wise friend of mine explained to me that it's different after you are married, for one simple reason..... That is because you know have to put "the rest of my life" at the end of each sentence. WHAT?? I didnt realize that!!

For explain, picking up after each other wasn't that big of deal, right?? Well now, picking up each others messes, is not what we want to do for the rest of our lives. I don't want to wipe pee off the toilet for the rest of my life, I don't want to redo the dishes after he supposedly did them, it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. All the little things that weren't a big deal, all of a sudden seem so big, because you don't want to do that for the rest of your life.  Not that any of these are breaking points for a fight or argument or the d word, but things that never bugged us before, bug us now. Not sure if that made any sense.....

It's a mental fight with yourself to understand why it now bugs you. It is an internal mental fight that we are BOTH going through in one way or another. We are alone.

I have since realized that in order to  address those rest of my life thoughts and situations, we need to communicate. Communication was something that Joey and I didn't have an understanding of until we started going to per martial counseling.  We need to talk to each other, understand where the other is coming from, help each other out, care about each others feelings, and just talk to one another is something that we are working on each and every day. Its a big thing! 

I strive to be the best wife I can be for Joey and I know that he works hard to be the best husband. It's going to be hard work at times and it is going to be an amazing experience that we have ahead of ourselves. We might fight, we might cry, we might dislike each other at times, but we are in it together baby, we are in for the long haul, for life!

Happy 1 month husband, I love you BBC!

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