LOST

Today is a weird day for me.  I cant explain what is going on with me. I feel lost in a certain sense.

Lately, I have been thinking about about school and work and what I am actually doing in my life and it brings me to the point of breaking. I am currently a student at a community college, which sounds great, but I have going to the same community college for 4 years now off and on. I should be done by now! I have friends that are currently graduating with their Bachelor Degrees and then there is me, whom has not even finished an Associates degree! I should have been better or should have gone to a real college that has helped me stay on path with my degree and career path, but I didnt. I am the one that has nothing to show for the last 4 years of school.

With all these thoughts on my mind, I am determined to get back into school, finish that last 12 credits of my associates degree and then onto my bachelors degree. But then I get caught up in all my thoughts again.... See I want to go in obstetrics, labor and delivery, and neonatal care. I have these big dreams and get caught up in the fact that nobody can tell if I need to get a bachelor degree in biology or science  or if I need to get a bachelor degree of Science in Nursing. I wouldn't mind doing the bachelor degree of science in nursing, but I dont want to be a nurse. I want to be bigger than that, but how I am supposed to know if I should go that route, if nobody will tell me.

I know, I know, I should expect people to tell me what to do, I am an adult. But I need guidance! I have emailed, called, and nearly stalked advisors, head of health departments, teachers, everybody to get some answers and I am left with links and no answers to my questions. Mildly annoying.

I have no answers and I have a look as if I was a deer in headlights. What am I supposed to do?  I want to move up in my life and have something to show for how hard I work and love the job that I have such an incredible passion for.  In the mean time, I will work my regular job, which I do love and am blessed to have!